Don’t be alarmed, we have just outgrown this place.
The new place is very nice. We love it, even though it looks the same. You never know. We might even make it look different one day.
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Look forward to seeing you there!
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Team Line-ups:
Liverpool:
GK: Reina 10
RB: Kelly (Skrtel) 10
LB: Enrique 10
CB: Carragher 10
CB: Agger 10
RM: Henderson 10 (Maxi) 10
LM: Downing 10
CM: Lucas 10
CM: Adam 10
ST: Kuyt 10
ST: Suarez 10 (Carrol) 10
Bolton:
Didn’t notice any of them. 2
Words cannot describe yet again, how good Liverpool this team played. They where even better than the week before against Arsenal.
In the first half Henderson gave Liverpool a much deserved lead. He finished off what was an expertly conducted move with a left footed curler into the top corner. After that Liverpool could have lead by 4 by the break with chance after chance and several penalites not being given by the referee.
All of the Liverpool team were superb in their own positions, with Suarez standing out yet again by being a formidable creative force in attack, and was incredibly unfortunate not to get himself on the score sheet. That is not to take anything away from the other players, who all played their part.
If the first half was a 10 rating from liverpool, then the second half was 20. Skrtel and Adam quickly made it 3-0 and it didn’t seem long like it would be 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. But unfortunatly those goals did not, materialise despite Liverpool owning the game.
Maxi, and Carrol came on for the last 20 mins and each had good chances.
The only negative was the Bolton goal that made it 3-1 at around the 90th minute mark, it almost seemed like Carragher felt sorry for how they had abused Bolton throughout the game and let one of their scruffy little players through in on goal.
The game finished 3-1, but should have been 15-0 like the Daily Weekly predicted.
Join us next week for a match report on Stoke City v Liverpool where the Daily Weekly predicts a 1-23 score to Liverpool.
Daily Weekly: So, Andrelos.
AB: Yes?
DW: Can you tell our readers the inspiration for ‘Drains’
AB: Well, it is difficult to pin-point the exact inspiration for this work.
DW: Please try.
AB: Well, I would say I took my inspiration from life. But not from everyday life, from the big things.
DW: Some of our readers may struggle to interpret your work, because they are a bit slow. Could you help them and give them an clue as to what it is about and what we should take from it?
AB: Every viewer can absorb this piece and take what they want from it. It does depend on the individual. I am one of those artists that believes the person receiving the art is more important than the creator.
DW: We would really like to know your thoughts where whilst creating the film. Why did you include the kitchen roll? Also, what was you feeding on the plate, and why is that in the film?
AB: OK, let me explane, I don’t want this to alter people’s perception if the work.
DW:Please tell us, we are desperate.
AB: OK, OK. This is what it is about. For me at least. It is about life. From birth to death. It is about our triumphs, and our failings and where these lead us. OK, happy now?
DW: I’m not sure we see where that all fits into the film.
AB: Have you watched it?
DW: I ask the questions around here Andrew.
AB: Typical, you haven’t even seen it, and don’t call me that. Look, listen, and feel, and you will understand.
DW: No, I have seen it, but i’m not sure how a kitchen roll falling over is about my life. Might be about yours but not mine, and why do you want to be called Andrelos when your name is Andrew?
AB: You fool! You should not see a kitchen roll as a kitchen roll. Let me explane even more, in really simple terms, which saddens me to have to do. The light in the film as a success, something positive and important. Birth for example, this is represented in the film as a shaft of light through a door hinge. The other lights could be marriage, first kiss, buying a car, anything positive that makes you happy and stays with you. The objects falling are negatives. This could be divorce, crashing your car, anything that has a profound impact on your life. Death is represented by the water falling at the end. What I am saying here in this film is that our life is made of good and bad, and from time to time, we all end up in our own personal hell, which is the microwave, and occasionally we arrive in beautiful places, like the fish-tank, but we all end up in the same situation. I would sum this film up by asking you to imagine God’s record of our lives when he looks at our souls after death. Based on this, he decides if we are worthy of heaven. Well this is how I imagine it will look to him. Even though our Birth, Marriage, becoming bankrupt and loosing our homes are big things to us, to God, there are simple, like a tissue falling on the floor.
DW: Wow, Deep. What about the newt?
AB: Oh I dispare. Use your imagination!
DW: [pause]
AB: It is a dependant, without the arm that feeds it, it would die. So think along the lines of the birth of your own child, or perhaps someone feeding us in times of need. You decide, it is about your life.
DW: Thank you, it actually makes sense a little bit now. Did you compose the music?
AB: Yes, I composed the score, two good friends of mine recorded the music and transcribed the music down from my vocal recording.
DW: It sounds creepy.
AB: No it doesn’t. Think of the euphoric sounds as you move along to meet your end, and know your suffering is over.
DW: Is that the bit when we move along the big light, and we see the water after? Bit depressing that it is the happiest bit.
AB: Hey, you’re getting good at this, and as for depressing, that depends on your beliefs about life after death.
DW: Why is it called Drains?
AB: We put all this effort into life, and i believe none of it is wasted. However, some people believe it is. It’s a play on the term “money down the drain”. This I spell out for the viewer by showing the water physically going down the drains. But it is bright, so therefore positive! Birth is much darker. I also wanted to show how short some good things in life can be, and therefore how unfulfilling. We put so much emphasis on fulfilling our needs, yet we don’t realise how unimportant these things are, like switching on a light for a few seconds, then we are left in our darkness. The bad things that happen to us stay with us much longer. Like being locked in a microwave.
DW: Well thank you for that. I hope that helps people understand your work.
AB: You are welcome.
DW: No problem. Also, I like to be called Andrelos, because it sounds more arty.
DW: Awesome.
Look out for an interview with creator Andrelos Baristos soon.
As the nations children wait for their secondary education exam results, whilst listening to rubbish on their iFaces, and watching television on their Playaches. Their parents are wondering what has happened to a proper education. Whilst the vast majority of teens will enjoy a full array of Grade C-A* results in various subjects, most older members of the community will wonder how this has happened, as we all know all those under 20 are unbelievably stupid.
Have a life – Education minister
Well, the answer is in the questions presented to these students. An example of the level these young people are achieving is clearly shown in this question:
20. Monty has 12 ants sitting on his favourite bench. He wants to sit on the bench, but is only willing to share the bench with 3 ants. He is sitting 12 miles away, and the grenade launcher he is carrying has a thrust of 132 kW. Calculate the angle Monty will need to set the grenade launcher to take out the ants he needs, and state the number of ants he wishes to take out.
It is clear that this question is incredibly simple, and therefore undermines the qualification, as almost anyone with even half a brain would be able to answer that within around 2 seconds.
It is estimated that, we will have record numbers of students achieving 5 GCSE’s grade C or above once again, this clearly is not because the quality of education it getting better, or because our children are getting brighter. In fact, employers are noticing the opposite. Children are growing up unable to grasp even basic particle physics, brain surgery, and many are unable to play any musical instrument to international performance standard. This perceived ‘dumbing down’ of exams is going to lead to the removal of any form of qualification from the requirments of entry to the workplace, college, University and nightclubs. This will leave those failing exams in virtually the same position at those passing all of them.
The Education minister told the Daily Weekly “if you are worrying about exams. Don’t. They mean nothing. Have fun, and more importantly, have a life.”
Do you agree???
The new super intelligent speed camera the government have introduced as a money spinner/road safety initiative has gone horribly wrong.
The “super intelligent speed camera” has been in the news recently due to controversy surrounding the suggestion it invades human rights. The speed camera has its own brain and is able to recognise criminals from crime records, capture DNA through the air pressure created by a passing the device, deploy tracking devices on cars to enable the police to apprehend any criminals, send necessary police cars/helicopters to apprehend criminals. All this and the issuing of speeding fines.
Unfortunately as the speed camera has a brain, It has become more and more human as the days progressed. First they would issue random speeding tickets to any ‘fit’ women and eventually they would only issue speeding tickets to female drivers and never male drivers. Now they just simply can’t be bothered to do anything apart from play online games using the onboard computer, and internet connection.
This has caused a huge embarrassment to the government due to the amount of money spend on the “super intelligent speed camera”. It is thought the authorities are now in negotiations with the installed cameras to see if they can be persuaded to do their jobs. If this fails it looks like the old style cameras will be re-installed.
Further information regarding the negotiations will be updated the minute we receive them.
In this latest instalment of Dereks travels I visited the wonderful coastal town of Scarborough. I often enjoy my time in Scarborough, and it is one of my favorite places to be.
There are several wonderful places to visit in Scarborough. The first I went and visited was some gardens that have been created almost vertically. This is very steep to walk up, so on this occasion I gave it a miss.
I then looked to explore the Pavilion. Here is where the world’s top entertainers come to perform to eager crowds. I decided to give it a go on the stage, and I must admit the audience did not warm to me as much as I would have liked. But I got on with my performance. This is not open for the public to perform, but I am special. It is open for the public to have a sit and wander.
Me on stage.
I decided to have a bit of a rest of one of the lovely deck chairs provided by Scarborough in the Pavillion. It was really nice and I fell asleep. So the hours ticked by, and as I was asleep, I dreamed about the time I traveled 1st class on a train to London. Oh, it was a really special time. Anyway, back to Scarborough.
Following my time on the deck-chairs I eventually made my way around to the castle. This involves some steep hills, and it not for those suffering from ill-health. When I got to the top, the view was spectacular!
The view from the castle
The castle is amazing but costs nearly £5 to get in, and the Daily Weekly’s budget does not stretch far enough to get me, my photographer and all my body guards in, so we just had a look at the outside.
The Castle was used to defend Scarborough from people traveling across the north sea which it faces. I could imagine it would be very difficult to invade as it is on top of a big hill, and by the time I got to the top and was by the castle I could not have invaded my shopping bag, let alone a big castle.
As you can see it was a beautiful day at the castle, I asked a local man and woman if the weather was always like that, and they refused to answer. I can only assume this means that it occasionally is not as good as it was on that day.
I then went and visited the grave of Anne Brontë who was a proper good writer, and sadly died before her time of a nasty disease called consumption, which is now known as tuberculosis.
Grave of Anne Brontë
So as not to end on a slightly depressing note. Here is a pretty picture of Scarborough.
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